Why do we hold on to things so tightly? What is it about throwing out something we no longer use, donating items that sit and collect dust, or walking away from things that no longer meet our needs? For many of us, letting go can feel almost paralyzing.
Who has stared at the same pair of jeans, sweater, book—any item—and thought, I really need to donate this, only to freeze when it’s time to put it in the bag? We second-guess ourselves:
What if I fit into it again? Maybe I’ll finally read that book. Maybe that shirt will come back in style.
And of course, some things carry sentimental value and memories that feel too heavy to release.
Letting go can feel overwhelming because discarding items can be experienced as a loss—and sometimes that loss feels like a loss of self. We attach emotions and future hopes to the things we are about to part with. So how do we reframe our relationship with the items of our past or the potential we imagine for them in the future?
I have always found that when you make space for the things you truly want and deserve, they have room to appear. When we hold on to things for too long, there is little space—physically or emotionally—for new energy, opportunities, and people to enter our lives.
Having fewer things makes life simpler. Having things you genuinely love makes life more enjoyable. Having space makes life feel freer.
Why do we surround ourselves with so much? Are we filling an internal need? Creating barriers to keep the world out? Or giving ourselves small hits of dopamine—self-medicating through collecting and consuming? Some of my own attachment comes from being raised by a mother who could never get rid of anything, who was raised by women who lived through poverty and the Great Depression. It makes sense that holding on can be a learned survival behavior. But it no longer serves me. It weighs me down.
I believe winter is a wonderful time to sort and release. Authors such as Marie Kondo (The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up), Clea Shearer & Joanna Teplin (The Home Edit Life), and Matt Paxton (Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff) offer helpful approaches to creating an organized home that works for your lifestyle and helps you process the emotions behind clutter.
Letting go is rarely about the stuff. It is about anxiety, fear, and the feeling that letting go means losing a part of ourselves. It is emotional, not physical. Emotional attachment to things that no longer serve us—do not bring us joy or function—can spill into other areas of our lives. But that is a topic for another blog.
For now, try choosing one small area each week to clean out or organize. Notice how it makes you feel. And don’t choose a task so big that it sets you up for frustration. Start small. Let one thing go—and see what space opens up inside you.