When one engages with others—even those we love—it can often be difficult to stay in our authenticity.
I recently found myself confronted with judgment from someone I love. I adore bright colors. I wear them because they match my heart, my spirit, and my energy. Yesterday, someone remarked, “Boy, you’re bright,” and it wasn’t meant as a compliment—perhaps more like a subtle microaggression toward being me.
A younger me probably wouldn’t have worn that outfit again. I learned at a young age that as a girl, you’re not supposed to be too loud, too happy, or, in this case, stand out—because it makes you too much of something, or a target.
When I bought this outfit, I loved the colors. The flowers made me happy. I felt pretty and lighter—and it still feels that way. That’s because I’m now a firm believer in Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” Theory. It’s your life—figure out what brings you real joy and be that person.
Authenticity comes from checking in with your heart, spirit, and body. These align to create a congruent you. The voices that surface in your mind when others offer doubt or feedback from their frame of reference—those voices aren’t yours, and they’re not your business. Don’t own them if they don’t align with who you are.
My response to the comment was simple: “Thank you! I love this outfit.”
You can choose what to think about yourself in response to others’ input. If who you believe yourself to be is shaped by others’ beliefs—or by society’s norms—pause. Take a moment to reclaim your voice and gain clarity.
Ask yourself: Do I act a certain way to rebel against those outside voices? That isn’t authenticity either—because you’re still letting others control you.
Whose voice shapes you?
Take that question inward: Is this my voice? My true self? Does what I think about who I am align with what I truly feel? If not, label that voice for who it belongs to. Create a positive response for yourself and sit with it until you feel centered again. Reinforce this whenever you feel out of alignment or when interactions with others don’t resonate with who you really are.
Being authentic takes practice. But every time you choose yourself—you strengthen that practice.